We've all heard the old saying, "Laughter is the best medicine," and it is
indeed a valid statement. Laughter is contagious, and spreads joy in a healthy
Laughing to Improve Your Health
People love to laugh and usually feel much better when they do. Laughing is
truly physiologically therapeutic. It helps the blood to flow, allows the body
to relax, and releases endorphins, all of which may decrease a person's level of
Laughing can help you to cope during stressful situations. It may also bring
a balance to your immune system, thereby helping you to fight off sickness and
disease. Studies have also shown that laughter, and a good sense of humor, may help to prevent
heart disease and heart attacks.
hope you enjoy the following jokes!
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger
Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish
The pump attendant
obviously knows nothing about golf, greeting him in a typical Irish manner
completely unaware of the identity of the golfing pro.
"Top of the mornin' to yer,
sir," says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his
shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the
"They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the good
earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my
balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Feckin Jaysus," says the
Irishman, "BMW tinks of everything!"
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just
bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand
dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What
kind is it?"
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor
to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw
Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young
lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor
spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing
great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said,
Doc: "Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said,
"You got a heart murmur. Be careful."
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends'
home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by
the way his buddy preceded every request to his
with endearing terms-Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart,
Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost
70 years, and clearly they were still very much
in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the
man leaned over and said to his host, "I think
it's wonderful that, after all these years, you
still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old many hung his head. "I have to tell
you the truth," he said, "I forgot her
name about 10 years ago."
Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First
one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one say, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one say, "So am I. Lets go have a
Driving to the office this morning on
the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new
Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view
mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and
I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on
As a man, I don't scare easily. But she
scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of
my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my
ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big John and
the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an
Damn women drivers!!
God grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into
the ones I like, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow
up) here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still
have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and
3. I finally got my head together-now my
body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. It is easier to get older than it is to
7. The only time the world beat a path to
your door is when you're in the bathroom.
8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he
would have put them on my knees.
9. It's not hard to meet expenses. They're
10. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking
about the hereafter.
11. I go somewhere to get something and then
wonder what I'm hereafter.
have a favorite joke, or story, you'd like to share?